Recognize and Deal with Narcissists, Sociopaths, Energetic Vampires
Many of us see the potential in others and would like to see it grow into a positive experience for us all.
There are those whose potential we see who are labeled narcissists, sociopaths and energetic vampires as well as other not so descriptive names. These types cannot grow into that positive experience for all.
The term narcissist has become inter-changeable with self-centered, uncaring or selfish. But these terms do not fully cover those who seek out the gullible or easily manipulated. Many make excuses for their treatment of others with mental disorder tags. In addition, some narcissists are covert while others are blatant.
None are so deviant as covert narcissists. This type takes caring individuals by surprise by manipulating them or separating them from those they love, from those who could blow the whistle on the narcissist’s behavior. This is called gaslighting, a term that comes from a movie that depicted this behavior. Often the caring individual finds him or herself isolated, depressed or self-blaming. These feelings or situations are fed by the narcissist in order to get the energy and what they need from the victim. The narcissist feeds the victim false information, often flat lies to cover their behavior or to blame the victim for their actions. The narcissist finds their victims doubts and fears and plays off of them to keep control of the situation they built.
Sociopaths do not have the capacity to care about anyone other than themselves. This group feeds on the complements and accolades of others, is incapable of ethical behavior and does not care to learn otherwise. Some behaviors of the sociopath are learned and others are a mental or brain disorder. They are often raised to positions of authority because they do not let their emotions inhibit their actions.
Energetic vampires are demanding sorts that will leave you drained or exhausted after an encounter. They engage us, tying into our energy as if it were a gas pump. They can be very subtle and sound involved or caring when in fact they sense we have something they need and feel entitled to take it in whatever way they can. They often stand too close to us physically or shout to keep the attention on them. They can give sly indications of their intent without blowing their cover. Some will even touch as a way of physically grabbing our energy, such as the people who will grab our arm or stroke our shoulders and neck. They are grabbing energy, taking us unaware. In conversations they will redirect the topic to what they need and disregard us or our desires.
How to deal with these desperados? Listen to the signs of self-centeredness, disregard of our boundaries and desires, and physical manipulations through words, implanting doubt or making us feel insecure or unimportant.
Watch their eyes, if they are not making healthy eye contact with us they are not invested in our best. If they do make eye contact, focus on their non-dominate eye, which is often the left eye. It throws off their direct connection to us and our energy.
If they are posture aggressive, we can disengage or create a physical barrier. We can choose to say “talk to the hand” and hold our upturned hand out in front.
If these actions seem too strong, remember that the deviants have no boundaries and want to crash ours so they can have what they need.
In the end, when they have gotten all they need they often depart, trying to make us feel it is our fault the relationship has come to an end. Do not buy it. We are to remember and recognize our worth and our needs. We do not choose to give them what we have.
Self-care is important. Set boundaries and be willing to enforce them.
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